Raising Kids as a Single Mum: The Unfiltered Truth

Raising Kids as a Single Mum: The Unfiltered Truth 

Let’s be honest, this world just isn’t designed for single mums.  

Its like trying to run a marathon with no shoes, a toddler in tow, and a fistful of flaming swords. And just when you think you’ve got it under control, you realize you’re also juggling financial stress, never-ending judgement, and the overwhelming feeling that the world is watching you like you’re a rare species. 

Because, apparently, doing this all by yourself is something extraordinary.

Of course, this isn’t every single mother’s situation. Each has her own story, her own struggles, and her own victories. But there are some truths I’ve personally found while being a single mum myself that I think a lot of us can relate to.

The first question you inevitably get from well-meaning strangers:  “Where’s Dad?”

Oh, gee, I don’t know. Maybe he’s off sailing around the world or doing yoga in Bali, because that’s what I’m really wondering while I’m over here juggling it all, trying to remember when I last had a moment to breathe.

And then, of course, there's the classic follow-up question: “So you've re-married then?"

Honestly, it’s like the world thinks being a single mum is some kind of cosmic punishment that you must redeem yourself from. There’s this weird assumption that if you’re not in a relationship, something’s wrong with you.

Nah, I’m good. Single and thriving (okay, maybe thriving is a stretch, but at least I’m not dragging around emotional baggage).  And honestly, sometimes the best part of life is getting to do it on your own terms, without someone else’s expectations weighing you down.

The Financial Tightrope:

Welcome to the ultimate crash course in budgeting and creative problem-solving. It’s like walking a tightrope while juggling everything with one income, all while carrying the weight of guilt at every turn. Every time you have to say no to something even remotely luxurious, it stings a little.

Then you overhear people talking about "holidays" and "self-care", hahaha, that’s cute. My idea of self-care is getting 10 minutes of peace in the bathroom—with the door locked—while my kids are outside screaming for snacks. Self-care in the traditional sense? Yeah, what’s that?

As for a family holiday? Maybe in my next life.

But my all-time favourite misconception? That all single mums must be living off child support from the baby dads, as if we’re out here splurging on designer clothes and booking cosmetic surgery appointments. In reality, it’s barely enough to cover a bag of groceries, if its even paid at all. 

Isolation:

Ah, remember when you had a social life? Yeah, those were the days.

Now when you see other mums off for their relaxation weekends, getting pampered, and having cocktail-filled catch-ups with the girls, you can’t help but wonder what that would feel like again.

Spontaneous meetups with friends? Gone. Late-night bar trips? A distant memory. "Me-time"? Non existent.

But then, if by some miracle, you actually manage to get a few hours off (yes, it does happen, but let’s not kid ourselves—it’s rare), the emotional exhaustion is so real that you stare at your phone, trying to decide if it’s even worth it to go out. You’ve finally got a moment to breathe, but instead of feeling freedom, all you want to do is curl up on the couch, in silence, pretending the world doesn’t exist for just a few hours.

But then, of course, guilt creeps in. This is your one chance to experience "normal", right? To do something for yourself. So, you slap on your brave face, tell yourself, “You deserve this,” and squeeze into an outfit that’s definitely too tight, but hey, it’s better than the leggings and oversized hoodie you’ve been living in for the past six months.

You step out the door, excited to be social again… but then you quickly remind yourself: don’t drink too much, you’ll regret it tomorrow when your toddler decides 5 a.m. is the perfect time to start their day.

Then after what feels like mere minutes of small talk, trying to squeeze in six months of life updates since you last saw these people, you realize: time’s ticking.

Tick Tock, and bam— time's up.  Straight back to reality.

The Judgment:

Here’s the thing about being a single mum: Society loves to judge.

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve received unsolicited advice, pity, and the ever-present judgmental stares. But the real kicker? When people assume you’re just out here looking for a “sugar daddy” to solve all your problems.

Newsflash: I’m hardly waiting for someone to rescue me. Yet, there’s this strange belief that because you’re single and have kids, you must be desperate.  You can’t possibly be managing on your own.

Then there’s the whole school mum circle.  You know, the one that feels like it was pulled straight out of a high school drama. You walk in for school pickup and it feels like you’ve just entered the land of cliques. And of course, your single status is immediately a problem. God forbid your kid makes friends with theirs, because suddenly, you’re out to steal someone’s husband.  Because that’s what single mums do, right?

And how about those well-meaning married friends who think they understand your struggle. They’ll say, “My husband works all the time, I practically raise the kids on my own, I’m basically a single mum too.” Umm, no. No, you’re not.

Here’s a fun scenario: Your kid has gastro, the baby’s teething, somehow the dog has gotten into the trash, and now your kitchen looks like a war zone. You’re running off 3 hours of broken sleep but guess what? No one is here to help. There no backup plan, just you—all day, every day.

Then there’s the extra “fun” of being a single mum in a world that just doesn’t get it. People love to dish out advice on things they don’t understand. “Just find time for yourself,” they say, as if we have the luxury of “me-time”.

The Truth:

You know what? Single mums don’t just survive this journey—we own it. We juggle, we hustle, and we show up for our kids every single day, no matter how tough it gets. It’s high time we start celebrating ourselves because the world is way overdue in recognizing just how badass we really are.

To all the single mums out there: You’ve got this, no question.

Keep rocking it, because you’re doing something truly incredible. The strength you show, the resilience you display, and the unconditional love you pour into your kids - that's a testament to your unmatched dedication and the depth of your heart.  Your love is the foundation they’ll carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Be proud of how far you’ve come, and never forget: You are enough.  You've always been enough.

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