Most Parenting Advice Is Just Someone Else’s Anxiety

Scroll long enough and you’ll find it.

Rules.
Warnings.
“Never do this.”
“Always do that.”

And suddenly, raising a baby feels less like a relationship and more like a compliance test.

Where the advice actually comes from

A lot of parenting advice isn’t evidence-based.

It’s:

• Someone’s bad experience

• Someone’s fear projected outward

• Someone trying to regain control in a chaotic phase

But once it’s wrapped in authority and shared enough times, it starts sounding like fact.

Why it sticks so hard

New parents are vulnerable.

Sleep-deprived.
Desperate to do the right thing.
Terrified of messing it up.

Advice doesn’t just inform — it lodges. Especially when it’s framed as risk.

“If you don’t do this, something bad could happen.”

That’s not guidance.
That’s anxiety in a lab coat.

The myth of the “right” way

There is no single correct method for:

• Sleep

• Feeding

• Routines

• Attachment

If there were, every baby would respond the same.  They don’t.

Because babies are people, not systems.

What actually matters (and gets drowned out)

Consistency.
Responsiveness.
Repair when things go wrong.

None of these require perfect technique.

They require presence.

The permission most parents need

You’re allowed to:

• Ignore advice that doesn’t fit your baby

• Change your mind

• Trust patterns you see with your own eyes

Instinct isn’t anti-science.

It’s data you’re collecting in real time.

A Quieter, Truer Standard

If advice leaves you feeling:

• Panicked

• Ashamed

• Like you’re constantly failing

…it’s probably not helpful advice.

Good guidance should bring clarity, not fear. It should support you, not make you doubt yourself.

Remember: it’s okay to politely ignore advice that doesn’t fit your family.
This is your choice. Your baby. Your life.
And yes… sometimes offending someone is worth your sanity.