Unpopular Opinion: Baby Sleep Training is Mostly Bullshit

Everyone swears by sleep training. There’s a whole industry built around it: books, online courses, even apps that track your baby’s cries like they’re the stock market.

Some sleep gurus claim that if you don’t “train” your baby by six months, you might as well hand over your life savings to caffeine companies — because you’ll never sleep again. Spoiler: that’s bullshit.

Here’s the truth: most babies develop sleep patterns on their own, and forcing a rigid schedule often makes things worse — for both baby and parent.

The Cry-It-Out Myth

Sure, some babies respond to the cry-it-out method. Some.

I have four kids — and all of them are very different sleepers. My first two had sleep schedules that didn’t resemble anything the books promised. I constantly wondered what was “wrong” with me… or them. The truth? Nothing.

All up, I had three non-sleepers and one amazing sleeper. The variety taught me that babies are individuals, not robots programmed to follow a guide.

Some controlled-crying methods may help parents get a few extra hours of sleep, but there’s no evidence it turns babies into “sleep superstars” or improves their long-term development. Leaving a screaming baby to figure it out doesn’t magically create perfect sleepers — it just creates stress and guilt.

The “Perfect Schedule” Illusion

Pinterest is full of perfect baby schedules:

• 8 a.m. feed

• 12 p.m. nap

• 3 p.m. play

• 6 p.m. dinner

• 7 p.m. bedtime

And yet… babies don’t care about your timelines. That 3 p.m. nap? Maybe your baby decides 2:58 p.m. is the perfect moment to scream like they’re auditioning for The Exorcist.

Trying to stick to strict schedules often creates more anxiety for parents and more stress for babies. I know I spent countless nights worrying what was “wrong” with my first two — only to discover it was nothing. Babies are just different. Some need more naps, some need fewer. Some wake every two hours, and some could sleep through a marching band.

The Overstimulation Trap

Modern parenting can get ridiculous: tracking every second of sleep on an app, analyzing graphs like a Wall Street analyst, and feeling guilty if your baby sleeps 42 minutes instead of 50.

Babies don’t need apps or timers. They need a safe, consistent environment and a responsive parent who notices cues, comforts, and adjusts. Sometimes comforting your baby is more effective than any “training method.”

Example: I’ve had nights where one of my non-sleepers would scream until he nearly overheated — sometimes vomiting all over himself. Leaving him to cry for 20 minutes as some book instructed? Dangerous. Comforting him helped him settle faster, and we all survived.

The Real Truth

• Less intervention often works better than rigid schedules.

• Babies are biologically designed to wake and feed.

• Responsive parenting builds safer attachment and calmer nights in the long run.

• Babies are individuals — what works for one may not work for another.

You’re not failing. You’re not lazy. You’re surviving. And if your baby sleeps 42 minutes in a stretch? Congratulations — you just survived a tiny apocalypse.

Hot tip: Trust your instincts. Observe your baby. Ignore the timer. Celebrate the little wins.

Every baby is different — and that’s okay. Really, it is.

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